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I recently attended a Lock and Key event at Blue Martini in Brickell.

And yes, the females wear lock necklaces while the men wear keys.

As the night unfolded, I began to realize this concept is quite genius!

Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. God created us to see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, "I want you to know, I love you all." I smiled tolerantly and thought, "Sure." Looking back, though, I realize my cynicism was misplaced. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love." (That was back in 1956 ― chances are he'd be even more pessimistic today.) So what is love ― real, lasting love? What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others.Judging from the popularity of the events (attendance has doubled at each new gathreing) this formula for love seems to be working.The next Lock and Key party takes place Sunday, May 26 from to 3pm at the Santa Barbara Polo & Racquet Club and also launches Darsonvals Meet the Matchmaker series that will be held monthly, when the expert will be on hand to answer questions about dating in Santa Barbara and to connect singles during polo matches.